So, Memorial Day is here. FINALLY, another three-day weekend. I was so excited about this that I started mulling over different activities for the husband and I to do and why I was so looking forward to the upcoming weekend.
- I am going to take Friday off
- I get to sleep in Friday AND Monday
- We can finally fix the grill canopy
- Maybe I’ll get another palm tree and plant it so I can’t see the people behind our house walk around their kitchen naked. (Have you heard of blinds? I don’t want to see your beer gut!)
- Ooo! We could go fishing in the morning one day
- We’re celebrating my husband’s birthday on Sunday, so POOL TIME at my neighbor’s!!
- Sunday is just like another Saturday!
- (Gasp in excitement) We don’t have the kids for FOUR DAYS!!! … (Gasp in horror). Oh my God, I sound like a terrible person.
As I thought back about the list and all the things I was so excited about, I realized that most of them revolved around us not having the kids. I can take Friday off and sleep in because the kids will be with their mom from Thursday through Sunday. We can get stuff done around the house and yard because we won’t have to drive Teen2 anywhere. I can walk around my house naked if I want to, change my clothes or pee with the door open, and heaven forbid, have loud sex.
So, I felt guilty. Or, rather, I felt guilty that I didn’t feel that guilty about being excited that the kids were going to be gone. Shouldn’t I feel sad that they won’t be here? Aren’t I supposed to mope about and lament how much I miss them? Isn’t that what moms are supposed to do?
Does this mean I’m a bad stepmom?
I mean, my own mom can’t go two days without calling me or asking me to come over and visit. “I miss you,” she says, “When do I get to see you?” she presses, “Why don’t you come over today?” She pleads.
Geez, mom, I saw you three days ago and I talk to you on the phone EVERY DAY.
Alas, I digress. Anyway, we finally get to live a few days as the rightful newlyweds that my husband and I are. We were only married for about four months before BAM! Insta-mom! Here are your teenagers! Enjoy!
For a few days I don’t have to listen to the arguments, or “can I have this” or “you have to get me that”. I don’t have to mediate fights, find out what Teen1 did to his car this time, I can do whatever I want around the house without worrying about dropping everything to pick up Teen2 from school, and I get to spend three whole days with my husband. We can even make out on the couch!
Usually, by the end of the two weeks we have the kids, I’m ready to be alone with my husband, stay up late with our friends, make poor decisions like “eh, just one more cocktail in the hot tub is fine”, and just worry about me for a change. When the following week rolls around, I’m energized and ready to be super stepmom again.
Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t like being a stepmom. I love it! But, let’s be honest with ourselves, we all need a break sometimes. It could be from work, from friends, from family (ahem), from whatever, or we will run ourselves to the ground.
So, is it bad that I’m looking forward to the kids being gone for four days? No. I’m sure they are more than ready for a break from us, too. It doesn’t mean they don’t love us, and it doesn’t mean I don’t love them. But sometimes, we just need a break and to take some time for ourselves.