My Husband’s View
As I perused the Mother’s Day cards at Walmart, searching for one that sounds like something I’d say (instead of actually writing the words myself… I don’t really understand cards now that I think about it), a nagging sense of irritation doggedly followed me around.
Where the hell were the stepmom Mother’s Day cards? I was searching for one for my own stepmother and couldn’t find anything. They have them for mothers-in-law, grandma, sisters, aunts, and even for friends, but where is the section for stepmoms? The closest I found was “Like a Mother” – but that’s not really the same.
It got me thinking. Is the word “stepmom” on Mother’s Day a dirty word or something? Am I even allowed to celebrate Mother’s Day?
I’m technically not a mom, right? I’m a stepmom. I’m only in my stepkids lives because I married their dad. I didn’t give birth them, didn’t teach them how to talk, watch them take their first steps, or cry my eyes out after I drop them off at preschool for the first time…
Honestly, I’m not sure what to think about this. I don’t expect the stepkids to do anything for me. They already have a mom and I would feel really awkward, like I’m stepping on her toes if they did do something for me. I don’t have any children of my own, so … meh?
I’ve been in a wee funk this week and I am wondering if it’s because of Mother’s Day and my sentiments about this holiday. It’s freaking confusing. Which irritates me. I don’t like being confused.
I expressed this to my husband yesterday. This was his response…
“Of course you are allowed to celebrate Mother’s Day. You ARE a mom to them. You do all of the things that ‘real’ mom’s do. Just because you didn’t birth them is ridiculous. Does that mean mom’s who adopt a child aren’t really moms? What about moms who need a surrogate? Or mom’s who adopt older kids? Are they not allowed to be moms?”
Geez, when you put it like that I sound like an idiot.
“You changed your entire life so they could live with us. You take them to school every day, clean the house, do the dishes, grocery shop, give advice, help discipline, and you’re helping to make them better people in the future when you really don’t have to do anything because they’re not your kids. So, yes. You are going to celebrate Mother’s Day. Period.”
Well, that solves that mystery. Thanks my love!